Playing WoW when you're a woman

So, I've been playing World of Warcraft for over two years now, almost two and a half. I have three level seventy characters. I've done extensive ten-person raiding, and I have dabbled a little with the 25-person content. I have worked extremely hard to gather around myself the kind of people with whom I want to play the game.

It wasn't always easy.

The guild I am now the GM of was founded my a friend of mine after I begged him to do so. I needed safe people to play with, and the guild I was in at the time--named Faith of the Fallen, after the Goodkind book, so I should have KNOWN--was terrible.  Full of immature kids, it seemed.  It was the thirty minute conversation about what a Dirty Sanchez (WARNING: you probably don't want to know) was that made me realize I HAD to quit that guild and never ever group with them again.  I told the GM I had deduced that the guild really wasn't woman-friendly, or for me, and I was going to quit.  He said okay, didn't argue or attempt to persuade me to stay, and I quit.

And so I begged, and the new guild was born.

The Pentaverate was initially just a handful of folks we recruited to sign the charter, my husband, my friend, his wife and me.  It was small.  It was safe.  It was a refuge from the sexism and harrassment I found elsewhere in the game.  I had decided, in response to the general sexism of "Girls don't play WoW" and "Girls aren't any good" to just be honest that I was a woman.  This was contrary to my GM's wife, who never told ANYONE her gender.  Somedays, I really wished I'd gone that route.

While playing openly as female, I experienced the following:

1. Having a male gnome repeatedly plant his face in my crotch while we were on a boat together.  When I moved away, he followed and repeated this, whispering "I'm the perfect height for you."


2. Similarly, having a male character on a broom repeatedly move his broom handle back and forth, ostensibly to simulate a sex act.  I had to log off, as asking him to stop did nothing.


3. Having a group speculate on what I was like in bed, and what I looked like, from looking at my character.


4. Hearing that top raiding guilds wouldn't take women because they're either incapable of being good enough to raid or they bring too much Drama.


5. Repeated and creepy requests to engage in cybersex. (Granted, these were from people who didn't know if I was a girl or not, but ew.)


6. Last night, I opened a ticket for GM intervention on a character name that reeked of the particular sexism of 13-year old boys.  I can't wait to hear what happened to "Vadgetastic"...

Is my guild perfect?  No.  I've had to explain why it's not okay to call things "gay" or to say that one was "raped" in that BG.  But all it takes is looking at that list to remind me that the community we created is leaps and bounds better than most.